Friday 30 September 2016

Why self love (and planning!) is important

Although you might not expect this, each time I think about starting a blog, I say to myself, 'Don't write about body/self positivity, or yourself, or mental health. It's boring'. The issue I have with this, is that I'm so passionate on this subject that, unless I'm on about music (or coffee), I find it hard to talk about anything else! I also like to think that the ramblings I post can help someone in some way, whether it be temporarily, or help them to make a major change in their life.

I am a person who really struggles to spend time winding down, spending more than a small amount of money without feeling guilt, and spends more time saying to myself that I should be working instead of indulging in myself. Looking at the life I lead (aka, buying and eating too much food, spending most of my time in baths and going out to get drunk), you might think that what I said previously makes no sense at all. But the magic of the situation is, is that I've had to teach myself on how to follow these life rules, just so I don't go completely insane(er).

You must have heard the phrase, 'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy'? This applies to how your life carries on and how others may perceive you. Although another persons perception doesn't matter in the long run, you need to take into consideration whether you'd have a 'perfect' life style, rather than be a bit skint but have a pocketful of memories?
We, as humans, push ourselves to perfection, resulting in destruction. We would rather have material possessions and a social status saying that we're top class, rather than actually being happy inside, and not what your Facebook shows people who you think you are. People would rather hang around with nobodies who have the same social status as them, the same sort of cars, houses, plastic children and plastic lives. They'd rather wear fancy clothes and have a magazine representation to show people, instead of looking inside and paying attention to what they really want. Isn't that messed up?

You should be eating wonderful food and spending the evening with family and friends, instead of working on something that isn't necessary and driving yourself to tears.
You should go on nights out and buying comfortable clothes, scented candles and chocolate instead of keeping every penny to yourself, not to be touched.
You should set yourself realistic goals of an overall success, instead of setting yourself a goal which will hurt yourself and possibly the others around you.

So how can you get out of this cycle?

Easy!

Planning is always the way forward, and I cannot stress this enough! If you're someone that doesn't like to make this time for themselves, be it being worried of tiredness/money, plan in advance on how you're going to take care of yourself. This way, you can fit a normal amount of workload around your 'me time', and you can prepare the sort of money/resources you need for this day. Self love can be as simple as making yourself some tea and toast before bed, organising your draws so they're less messy, having a bath, going for a drink with a friend, etc. Bigger ways of finding your self love guru is to sit down and see what needs to be changed in your life, if it is harming your care to yourself. Smelly roomate? Throw deodorant at them until they get the message. Work is too much? Talk to your boss about changing your hours so they suit you. The thing is, YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR OWN HAPPINESS. No-one is going to fix you, no-one is going to wrap you in a blanket and say 'there, there'. Only you can sort yourself out, so hop to it. The future is as close as you want it to be!

If you take anything from this random blog, please let it be that you don't want to get to the end of your life and realise that you've done nothing good for you to remember. The first times, the memories, the parties, everything. Have a memory that you'd fight Alzheimers for, instead of letting your life slip away like a sandcastle in the tide.





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Wednesday 28 September 2016

Life is managed, not cured








Dear Jasmine,
I don't know how to start this. I think I should go from the beginning, but I'm scared to track back so far. Surely it should help, so I'm going to have to face myself like I should have done ages ago.

At the age of 5, you started reception and loved your teacher, Mrs Green. She encouraged you and pushed you into your current love of books; If it wasn't for her (and your parents reading with you every night), you probably wouldn't be as interested in the world as you soon became.

At the age of 6 1/2, your parents decided that we should move to Bridlington, as the area you were from was notorious for being... 'Rough'. You moved to a new school, and tried to make friends, despite them mocking your new, unusual accent. Because you are bright, you got called a cheater by the other students, despite being so young, for getting your spellings correct. That was the first time that you remember feeling singled out.

At the age of 8, you questioned your sexuality and was scared to tell your friend, who then promptly told your mum. You cried, because you didn't want to be different.

At the age of 11, you left primary school. After being called weird, ugly, and fat by other kids, you were determined to make high school your time to shine. 

At the age of 12, you were used to being bullied on the bus. Despite the friends that were there, you still felt alone.

At the age of 13, you moved to London for stage school. You felt too big for this world, so you ate less and moved more. You told yourself that if you talked a little quieter, everyone would hear your thoughts screaming like a siren. They did not.

At the age of 15, you couldn't function in school. You left year 10 early, as you were too weak and exhausted to learn. Your body 
hurt, but not as much as your mind.

At 16, you learned to laugh again. You met people who made you feel wanted.

At 17, you hurt yourself. You picked yourself up.

At 18, you felt and still feel broken into a million pieces. But, you know it won't last.
The thing is, you've beaten this before. You've made yourself something when you felt like nothing. You laugh and love, you swear too much, you're kind to the people who need it most. You forgive people who don't deserve it. But most of all, you know that life is too damn short to feel unhappy right now.
Nourish your body, as it helps you to work. 
Feed your mind, because it's not the books that made you feel alone; it was the people who told you they did. 
Run. Sing. Just be you.
One day you'll be dead, and do you want people to remember the person you feel like? Or do you want people to remember the person you actually are?

More than anything, I'd like to say thank you to my mental illness. You've made me realise that I'm made of tough stuff. You made me appreciate the times I smiled. You protected me from the people who tried to hurt me. But you are not needed anymore; you've done your time. Now please leave.

Life is managed, not cured. So live each day like it's going to be the best day of your life- it very may well be.


This blog is my first in a while, and not as upbeat as usual. Tune in next week for some fun!

Instagram- @mythicalgypsy