Sleep. Who needs it?
What even is sleep?
Who sleeps??
Evidently, not me. This is due to the worst trait that could have ever been passed on down to an already adolescent in a college with a heavy work load- PROCRASTINATION.
I am the worlds bigger procrastinator, yet I'm also a perfectionist.
DO YOU SEE MY PROBLEM??
Yes, I'm messy physically. My room hasn't realised that it has a floor yet, due to my master piece of a floor-drobe growing. When it gets to work, however, I always want to achieve my best and blah, blah, blah. When I realise I have two days until my deadline and two assignments to finish... I write a blog. Or, I'll make a hot chocolate. Here are the ______ stages of procrastination:
Stage 1- You decide to start your work
Great, you've got a week until your deadline. You can do this! It's only a power point, shouldn't be too hard.
Stage 2- You start to research and end up checking Facebook
Hey, your friends might know what to do for this assignment, and that BuzzFeed video about the oppression of women does look pretty interesting...
Stage 3- Distraction by food
Well, you did only have breakfast 30 minutes ago and the brain does need fuelling. How about that new Jamie Oliver recipe you've been eyeing up? That shoulder of lamb does look pretty good for feeding your brain for some hella studying!
Stage 4- Eating too much and then binge watching a series on Netflix
Damn, maybe that was too much food for one person... Well, it's almost 4pm now, and it's getting too late for your brain to function. You might as well watch a couple of episodes to relax, get an early night and give it a go tomorrow.
Stage 5- Sell your soul to Netflix and repeat for 5 more days
You've realised that you're too involved with your TV show. You need to stop; after this cliff hanger...
Stage 6- Cry in the shower for 17 hours
WHY DID PEOPLE NOT TAKE YOUR NETFLIX AWAY FROM YOU WHY
Stage 7- Acceptence
Who needs a solid career when you can be a nun, right? God forgives all.
Now, unfortunately, I don't really get to the acceptance stage... I get to stage 6, panic and then over work myself until I am an oblivion of tears, pizza and looking like my sanity is long gone. Although I am much better now than I was in high school, it still takes me a lot of effort to drag myself to the computer and then stare at it for hours on end... and then get round to actually opening the assignment up. The perks of staying up late are great, though; You discover all your emotions in the space of 10 minutes.
If you're like me, you'll be move between your emotions quicker than Meghan Trainor contradicts herself in 'All about That Bass'
. You'll start to feel slightly panicked, but calm at the same time. You'll be progressing in your work and then suddenly- THE HYSTERIA.
EVERYTHING will be funny. That lamp? Oh my god, that is the best thing you've seen all night. Cats on treadmills? Gold, Homicide? Doesn't get old.
Then you'll move on to the emotion where you're really sad and depressed about your upcoming future- Nothing seems to be going right! Here you are at 3am trying to type up this stupid assignment, you feel worthless and then... Anger.
Personally, this is my favourite emotion. You start pacing around, looking at MCR songs and wondering what would have happened if you actually tried to do your work on time. All the people who picked on you when you were younger were arseholes, the cat sucks, that chair looks pretty arrogant- Everything is irrational! You could fight a tiger right now, you're ready to roll!
And then, you hit reality. Just mind-numbingly tired and all round fed up of everything and everyone, so you make your 6th cup of coffee and get on with the work. Ahh, reality.
I was going to apologise for the length of this blog, but I decided that there's no point as the only person who reads it is my mum. So, bye for now!
** I wrote this blog because I was procrastinating on my assignment, and then I got bored and made pizza instead of writing this blog in one hit. I am the epitome of procrastination at its finest **
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