Vacation!

I have to admit, I have been a rubbish blogger recently. I've has a 'blogger's-block', so anything I would write would be unexciting or just a load of gibberish. Luckily, I have two things I would like to talk about!

Today, I am driving to Glastonbury festival with my parents, which I'm super excited about. This is going to be my first time camping at a festival, and I can see why! Hopefully, it won't be too smelly or uncomfortable, but we'll see.
I'm going in a tent with my older brother and his girlfriend, and this is the first time in about a year that I am getting more independence with things. I will be walking around a festival by myself, being responsible for my food and safety, which is a major thing (but unsurprising, as I'll be living alone in September and my parents are convinced that I'm coming home every weekend!). I've started to do a lot of things alone recently, such as going to dance classes by myself and making my own meals without anyone having to remind me! This may seem tiny to others, but I finally feel like I'm ready to grow up. There is a difference between feeling like your growing up and being ready, and I think that I'm almost there.

Another thing (unrelated to the title) is that I think that I might start a vlog. I mean, blogging is basically the same, but more physically exciting to viewers! And as well, I think I live an exciting life seeing as I'm only 16, so I want to share that with people.

So, I'll be away for the next few days and will post another blog as soon as I can! As for now, I'll leave you to enjoy your Wednesday, fuelled by caffeine and your hope for a longer weekend.

Freedom!

As many of my friends will be rejoicing over since Friday, we are finally free from our GCSE's! I honestly can't describe how amazing it was when I finished my last exam- All I knew was that I finally understand what everyone older than me was talking about.

Now that exams are over, I'm not too sure what to do with myself. I'm going to Glastonbury Festival in 11 days and New York on the 7th of July. Not to mention, my first house party on the 4th of July! I finally feel like I'm growing up, and I'm not scared. I'll be working in my mum's salon in the next three months (probably 2-3 days a week), socialising (help) and preparing for college. It's all exciting stuff, so why would I be scared?

I think 3 years in London is to blame for that. No fear! Still, at least I'll feel prepared. I can finally get to practice my guitar, piano, music theory, singing and going out with friends without feeling sleep deprived from stress or worried that I should be revising. Bliss!

Luckily for me, I left my school on Friday with a bang. We had a fantastic prom, where my friend's Lillibet and Molly came to full experience my stage school. Safe to say they were probably a bit frightened! The food and company was good though, so I was upset when the evening had to end. Thank you everyone for a great time.

That's all there is to say about this week, unfortunately! I'm off to enjoy a nice relaxed day whilst I can, so happy Sunday and a more detailed will be released next week.

What is your passion?

What I've noticed recently is that my blog reminisces a lot on my past. I think that when I get to college, it will be much more recent!
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Everybody has their little things that help them through the day. One of my friends knows that if she gets through her struggles that day, she can still go home to see her group of recent friends. Some like to knit, write, or even look forward to winding down with a glass of wine and their favourite film. I, however, depend on music. More specifically, singing.

I know that you're most probably thinking, 'Typical stage kid, typical teen, listening to music all the time, yada yada yada...'. But, not surprisingly, my reasons seem much different to others. Most teens and adults seem to have a genre, artist or song that really relates to them. It seems like the singer is only there for them, or that the strings in a piece of music make their ears numb from pure, simplistic pleasure. For me it's different.

When I listen to music, music that really speaks to me... The feeling is indescribable. As soon as the first chord strikes, I feel my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach and I can't breathe properly. Everything around me seems to slow down. Nothing, anything, even myself, matters more than what is being played. I don't enjoy listening to music through my headphones. It feels so claustrophobic. Music deserves to be played out loud, gently, caressing the air around you and causing you to go into a sedated state of mind. It shouldn't be kept in. Music deserves to be listened to, be it classical, punk, blues or pop. Even a generic song with no significance to your life could mean so much more to someone else.

 Being on stage does not matter to me. Singing does. I seem to sing mostly when I'm upset, angry or tense. I sing around the house, for my family, when I'm concentrating... Even on the toilet! Unlike music, it makes me feel alive. In a way, singing is my resurrection from listening to music. I go from feeling numb and disconnected from the world, to forcing my presence on to anything that will listen. It scares me not being able to feel alive. Singing seems to release me from that grip.

I was eleven in this video. I sang this song very recently in a talent contest and came second! I was so pleased with how I sang, I burst into tears. Always a drama queen!

To summarise, I believe everyone needs that little something to help them along and keep them sane. Have a great week!

Acceptance

Right from a young age, we learn that acceptance is a very important thing. We don't like being left out from the Wendy House, or told that we can't join in that certain game. Without really realising, we turn into someone because of somebody else says so. As I mentioned in my last blog, standards and acceptance seem to really matter to most individuals.

Recently, I have found myself really thinking about myself, my future and how I feel. I unfortunately am one of those people who either try not to acknowledge their feelings and block them out, or get so stressed and emotional (mostly from confrontation), that I burst into tears. For some reason, I  feel really unhappy. Although I have things which could be connected to that reason, I don't have a specific reason. Maybe it's just the stress of the exams. I don't like to overthink, because I know that it makes me unhappy. You find yourself staring into space, thinking about your day, what happened to you, etc., and then you dwell on your mistakes and what you could do better. You become so obsessed with these minor details that you end up in tears over the past. Then the next day comes, and the vicious cycle continues. It's such a self destructive pattern that hundreds of people don't even realise that they do it.

I do know, however, that I am extremely grateful for everything I have in my life. I'm grateful for my legs, for being strong throughout all of the times I have had to trek though London, or dance for hours on end. My arms for being able to lift my niece up and swing her around until she squeals! My (moderate) good looks... I mean, they could be worse! My voice, hair, eyes, ears, torso, EVERYTHING! I'm glad to have parents who stand by me, help me improve and support me financially and emotionally through everything I want to do. My education and my friends. Without it all, I would probably be a lot worse off... Or a cell floating through the ocean, soon to evolve into a superior race. Who knows!

Anywho, sorry for not posting for a week. Exams have been hella hectic, but I could be posting more often as I will soon have about three months until college! My Instagram is much more active, with daily updates of my life (as if my ramblings once or twice a week wasn't enough!). Happy revision/Saturday, and good luck to those who have exams coming up!

Standards

There have always been standards in life. From hundreds of years ago, people must have made up some rules of what is acceptable in society and what is not. For example, shaking someone's hand to say hello is acceptable, but licking their face and asking them their favourite colour is (usually) not!

I don't just mean, however, standards in what is right and what is wrong. Now-a-days, standards are set by what family you come from, what college/university you went to, the clothes you wear and so much more. People seem to think that if you have tattoos or wear non-designer labels you are beneath them. This attitude is wrong, but not surprising. From a young age, it seems to be drilled into us to have the best of everything. This is either from adverts on TV or from your friends. If you did not have that toy or gadget, your friends would usually point it out or flaunt their item in front of you at any given moment. 

Moving on to secondary school. Everybody seems to have the newest phone, the newest style of bag or the best kind of music taste. If you didn't listen to the latest 'heart throb' you were deemed as uncool. If you were a little bit quirky (exhibit 'a' writing the blog!), hyper, creative, and all round different, you were a target. People would do their utmost best to make you uncomfortable and determine the fact that you would never fit in. The persistent craving for the newest thing and to be better than everyone else is a way of life. The idea becomes more unbearable when you realise that it's companies or families enforcing the ideas of their children and making them into unpleasant adults! 

I'm not saying it's wrong to want to be the top. The way in which it is achieved is what I have a problem with. The fact that it's drilled into us at a young age makes it. You can't teach an old dog new tricks!

Fortunately, I would like to think that I have been raised to not act like that. I will not diminish other's progress to make be 'better' than them. I will just work harder in the fair way so that I will get a continuous, solid success. Maybe it was because I was constantly squashed in my first secondary school... Or maybe it's just good ol' coincidence!